What I’ve learned about getting the most from coaching
A few years ago, before I became a coach myself, I was given free access to a health coaching app at work. I've always prided myself on being a good student, and I was ready for my coach to tell me exactly what to do to get an A+. What should I eat for breakfast? What exercises should I do? I was ready for her to sculpt me into my fittest, healthiest self.
When I started meeting with my coach, I was confused. She didn't give me a list of action items. She asked a lot of questions, but she didn't give me the "right" answer or any answer at all. Frankly, I was disappointed. Maybe I got a dud of a coach, I thought. We continued our conversations for a few weeks, but I wasn't very engaged and I felt a little let down. When life got in the way, I stopped using the app.
Looking back, I can see why my first coaching experience went sideways: I had no idea how to use a coach effectively.
What I thought I needed was advice and for someone to give me the “right” answer. What I know now is that there is no right answer. In the years since, I've discovered that strengthening my self-knowledge and resourcefulness helps me create sustainable long-term change. Coaching has been critical to that growth.
I know I'm not the only one who's shown up for coaching only to find I didn't know how to be coached. Soon after I started writing this post, I had a friend reach out after her first-ever coaching call. She knew it should be an excellent opportunity for her to take advantage of, but it felt uncomfortable and she was at a loss for how to approach it. While access to coaching has expanded in recent years, it's not a resource that people automatically know how to utilize. We're so used to being told what we should do or who we should be by the world around us that building the muscles of self-reflection can feel challenging.
I believe that coaching is one of the most effective ways to learn and grow and, by extension, reach our biggest and most audacious goals. I've seen transformation as a coach and I've experienced it as a client. That's why it pains me to see people have a less than stellar experience. When people don't know how to use a resource or have a bad experience, they stop using it. It also means they're less likely to give it another go, and they're likely leaving a lot of learning and growth on the table.
I want more for you!
Many people don't realize how much of the coaching experience can be in their control. I hope that your coach initiates these conversations with you but, if they don't, there are concrete steps that you can take as an empowered client to get the most from your coaching engagement the first time around. Whether you already have a coach and are looking to maximize your learning, or are considering starting coaching, this free PDF resource is for you.
Coaches: What other suggestions do you have for getting the most from coaching?
Clients: What other questions do you have about using a coach effectively?
